Happy, after all.

It is going to be the seventh month I am living this new 'season' of my life though it is still a short time for learning and adjusting a new culture.

Next month, I will go back to my lovely home country for a couple months and continue this journey back here again afterwards.

Recently, I feel like this is my 'peak' days of studying and doing my final assignments. Horrible, but I would say that it will be fun though! :D

Just a bit update of my latest condition here, I am in the middle of a stressful mind. Those assignments and one exam are successfully overwhelming myself.

I know, I would be fine at the end. *Hopefully!* But struggling with those is something that makes me going crazy. Haha!

Anyway, these thoughts just came up on my mind and surely help me to be relax. :)

I am happy doing all these things.

I am happy enjoying this new way of life.

I am happy meeting new friends from other countries.

I am happy learning the new way of studying.

I am happy experiencing failures and trying to be tough.

I am happy suffering the crisis of my own self.

I am happy knowing different places, different people, different perception, different culture.

I am happy inhaling this new atmosphere around here.

I am happy, after all.

And I am looking forward to see what will happen next; here, there and everywhere.

Cheers!

Kacamata gitta recognise that learning something new is pleasing.

Wait, this is not the end of my world!

Yes, that is true, 'this is not the end of my world'. This world is soooo amazingly broad and too difficult to be seen in just a glance. But our world, or better to say, my world, is just the smallest part of the entire universe.

Obviously.

Here, in my new experience as an 'international student', I had been so disappointed when I felt that I cannot be (at least) the same or good or more than that, the best among everyone else. It is maybe just a wish for me. This situation had dropped me down, particularly my self-esteem, as I sensed that my circumstances are not supporting me in some ways. But it is possibly just my thoughts, and it could be wrong because I have not made myself well understood with this new way of living.

One of the example is, I cannot feel convenient with my new class environments, when people were talking and they seem so sophisticated by their words. Moreover, it was being worse, when I totally had no idea with the subjects. It is looked so simple and might be a stupid thing. But that was... sooo miserable for me.

After a long desperation time, I had a new inspiration.

Today, I suddenly feel better, I believe, by passing this sort of situation, I will get more strengths to survive this world. Forget all ambitions to be the top ten, three, or the very highest top number one, but be ready to be the lowest among others. Feel great to be looked odd from the majority. Still, try as hard as I can to achieve the best of me. It might be not acceptable to different people with different ways of thinking, but going straightforward and making an effort with plenty of failures are not immoral acts. They are worth trying.

I realised that failures, shame, fear, worries, are always staying around me until I kick them away. I felt so bad when I realised that I am a loser. But I learned, again and again, those are the great lesson, not to be hidden, or to be walked away from, but to be going on with life as I try not to interpret those such weaknesses but as pathways to move forward myself from my 'comfort zone'.

Secondly, I realised that by being weak, failed or lose, it makes me trying harder, accept and be grateful of every single thing I have and respect others better. And instantly I remember that I am no one before I have granted the great strengths from Above.

Okay, now, the lesson I learned the most is, this is only the second or the third chapter of my life and I still have a looooonnnnggg way to go. That was a step, leading me to be a better person to live this good life.

I thank God, for many failures I have, as of the things, I am able to open my own self, my sights, my thoughts, and try everything again better.

Kacamata gitta is going to change her insights, by having a new pair of spectacles and thought that today is the perfect time to start moving on with better ways of life.

Lights

Everything has just been going all right and I learned that accepting every single happiness or sadness throughout my life is so beautiful.

They are all such priceless experiences, growing me up.

One thing I want to say is, keep going on in everything you have to face with.

Life is naturally light, not as hard as I think, thus I try not to think too much when I go through the good or bad. Keep it simple, not complicated though it is probably looked too complex when I see it through my eyes. But after I hear everything with my heart, and I see a thing with my brain, those complicated things seem okay.

Remember that I have colours within my life. I cannot colour it with yellow, green and red only, because by combining those with blue or grey and sometimes black, it makes my scenery of life more wonderful.

Broaden the way I think, and not afraid to fail.

Run my life lightly, enjoy every season and keep doing the colour experiment.

Never put any highest expectation, but do dreaming.

Laughing and crying out loud as if it is needed.

Love everything, everyone, every time.

Be grateful.

Kacamata gitta is trying to have a light life.

Yes, I have to say that He always be GREAT in every season

It might be sounded too religious or something you may name it, when you see anyone who always talks about God in every way they do. And extremely I did, and hope I will always do. Well, it does basically not for expressing that I am better than anyone else but it is as simple as I am trying to thank for what I have. I am not an angel or a saint wannabe, but I believe that my life is happened only by His grace, therefore, giving thanks to The Creator will definitely be the easiest response to all of His blessing. It is such a spiritual booster for me, by which upping myself when I am in the state of deeply depressing.

Here in Melbourne, I turn out that my life is totally changed. I have no idea about what the reason is. All I can sense are mostly worries, sadness, difficulties and bad feelings. Indeed, I have happiness and I enjoy living here, with the new environment, new friends, and so on, but my heart cannot hide some sorrow. I sometimes sick of them, I really really want to be able to get out of this situation but failed in many times. However, magically, God always keeps His promise of taking care of us. He never fails.

It is easier to be grateful when I am happy and I can do anything which I want to do, but it becomes this hard when I am in the middle of crisis. Blaming myself, others, situation and then losing my interest to talk to Him anymore, disappointed with myself, of my entire life, from the past until today, these have surrounded my life here. Tears were directly becoming my best friend. I have no passion to do anything, even to meet or chat with people. That was the hardships I should face. A problem with me, myself. I was looking for help from anywhere, from any new activities or new friends, but could not find one better than this. I just realised that I will not be able to pass the misery without asking our Great Saviour to provide the new strength. Even by just thinking of His goodness, we can reflect that this life is too beautiful to be thrown away.

He is so wonderful and will be that great in every time, every where. I know that He unfailingly loves us. When we pray to have a better life or just whispering our gratitude for the smallest thing happened in our life, right there, He hears us, He smiles and gives us a hug. But as a human, I sometimes fail to see and feel it.

I find my life is still such a mystery. There are many things happened, come and go away, and I cannot understand them well. By keeping my belief in His kindness and love, I can live my life until these days and try to understand every smile or cry. Tears and laugh are blessing and eventually we can stand and accept every single tough condition throughout our lives.

Believe me, God's love never hurts.

A true best friend He is, not only in need, but indeed!

Kacamata gitta believes that the truly gratitude is came when we can face the hardships by realising that God does not just stand beside us but He does walk us through our journeys.