Wait, this is not the end of my world!

Yes, that is true, 'this is not the end of my world'. This world is soooo amazingly broad and too difficult to be seen in just a glance. But our world, or better to say, my world, is just the smallest part of the entire universe.

Obviously.

Here, in my new experience as an 'international student', I had been so disappointed when I felt that I cannot be (at least) the same or good or more than that, the best among everyone else. It is maybe just a wish for me. This situation had dropped me down, particularly my self-esteem, as I sensed that my circumstances are not supporting me in some ways. But it is possibly just my thoughts, and it could be wrong because I have not made myself well understood with this new way of living.

One of the example is, I cannot feel convenient with my new class environments, when people were talking and they seem so sophisticated by their words. Moreover, it was being worse, when I totally had no idea with the subjects. It is looked so simple and might be a stupid thing. But that was... sooo miserable for me.

After a long desperation time, I had a new inspiration.

Today, I suddenly feel better, I believe, by passing this sort of situation, I will get more strengths to survive this world. Forget all ambitions to be the top ten, three, or the very highest top number one, but be ready to be the lowest among others. Feel great to be looked odd from the majority. Still, try as hard as I can to achieve the best of me. It might be not acceptable to different people with different ways of thinking, but going straightforward and making an effort with plenty of failures are not immoral acts. They are worth trying.

I realised that failures, shame, fear, worries, are always staying around me until I kick them away. I felt so bad when I realised that I am a loser. But I learned, again and again, those are the great lesson, not to be hidden, or to be walked away from, but to be going on with life as I try not to interpret those such weaknesses but as pathways to move forward myself from my 'comfort zone'.

Secondly, I realised that by being weak, failed or lose, it makes me trying harder, accept and be grateful of every single thing I have and respect others better. And instantly I remember that I am no one before I have granted the great strengths from Above.

Okay, now, the lesson I learned the most is, this is only the second or the third chapter of my life and I still have a looooonnnnggg way to go. That was a step, leading me to be a better person to live this good life.

I thank God, for many failures I have, as of the things, I am able to open my own self, my sights, my thoughts, and try everything again better.

Kacamata gitta is going to change her insights, by having a new pair of spectacles and thought that today is the perfect time to start moving on with better ways of life.