Hidup?

Bingung.
Bimbang.
Merasa aneh.
Merasa gila.

Terkadang ada hal-hal yang tidak terdefinisikan dengan baik, bahkan tidak bisa dianalisa, hanya dirasa dengan perasaan yang juga aneh. Sempat berpikir begitu lama akan sebuah misteri, mungkin bisa diistilahkan seperti itu.

Menjalani hidup dengan sebaik-baiknya, seefektif dan seefisien mungkin. Mungkin itu maksud dari segala pertanyaan dan tanda tanya besar yang sering melingkupi hidup.

Entah apa yang sebaiknya atau pun seharusnya dijalankan agar segala sesuatunya bisa berjalan mulus, tapi kalau semua mulus, pasti hidup pun tidak seru lagi. Dan kalau semua rumit, hidup pun menjadi terasa tak menyenangkan.

Tapi tenang, hidup akan terus berjalan walaupun kadang ingin sekali berhenti sejenak dari perjalanannya. Jadi, daripada buang waktu untuk hal yang tak terdefinisikan, lebih baik dijalankan apa yang seharusnya dikerjakan sambil menunggu sesuatu yang kita pertanyakan itu memperlihatkan sedikit jawabannya.

Dan juga, jangan lupa kalau Yang Di Atas selalu memiliki jawaban indah. Jadi, jalani dan hadapi sambil berpegang.

Mungkin tulisan ini membingungkan.

Ya, begitulah.
Cara menjalani hidup memang terkadang membingungkan, tapi kebingungan itu akan diakhiri dengan sebuah makna besar yang disimpulkan sebagai pelajaran hidup.

Kacamata gitta melihat suatu tanda tanya besar di hadapannya.

2010 was good and 2011 will be better

Great time I had within 2010 and I enjoy every moment that I have been through, I love the journey of my happiness and sadness in life. I am so grateful for every lesson I learned from my experiences, the changes of my perspectives, my circumstances and myself, and the process of growing up.

I could say that those all are tough enough.

I would say that everything was hurtful but special and I am happy for it, eventually.


However, by the end of 2010, I am able to feel the fullest of happiness and it does brighten up my smile lately. Being around of my family, my closest friends and the dearest people in my life is the greatest gift that can be felt in every season. Besides, I have learned the lesson of living this life better. I thank God for every single thing.

Today, on the second day of January 2011, I am wondering, what will happen next throughout the year. Hope everything runs well and I can catch my hopes, moreover, my dreams.

God still leads my way, He always be here, be in my everyday life.

God, please let me easily understand Your direction :)

Kacamata gitta is hoping and believing for a much more better 2011.

Hello From Home!

Hello!! I'm so happy being here at my home sweet home!! Since for me, home does not mean only my parents' house with my family members but also my circumstances here around Tangerang-Jakarta with my life, friends and the people surround.

Okay, let me begin with my amazing experience of going back home from Melbourne. Definitely, I had such a great experience as my flight to come back home was cancelled. That was a very miserable moment when I saw the big board at the airport which said that "GA 717 Melbourne-Jakarta: CANCELLED". I just can stop walking and kept thinking that I would have another way to go to Jakarta, whatever it should be. However, sadly, the officer said that I had to stay in Melbourne and should wait for the next flight, which was on the next two days. My oh my! The first thought that came on my mind was... Disappointed! Because I was so excited to come home but I had to wait again for two days?! NOO!! Since I have packed all my stuff and told everyone that I'll be home on Monday, 25 October 2010 at 13.20 WIB but all of the excitements should be postponed?? NOOOO!!! The officer asked me to choose either Wednesday or Thursday flight, but I could not say anything at that moment. Then he gave me time to think and I was begging to have another flight to Jakarta if possible. I went back to him twice to ask the same question, 'is there any other flight to Jakarta?' but he said no, all flight were busy (I'm sure it was just a trick, to minimize passengers who were willing to get another flight). By a bit forcing him, I luckily got Qantas flight to Jakarta! They transferred me to Qantas without any other charge. Yippiey!! *tears* and for your information, there is no direct Melbourne-Jakarta flight by Qantas, so I should take the domestic flight to Sydney first and continued with the international flight to Jakarta. It was a bit more tiring, as a direct flight by Garuda will only take 5 hours and 30 minutes, but by Qantas, I had to spend 11 hours on board. Fortunately, I flew home with three new friends, big hug and thanks to Tante Mira, Ismail and Amelia. I had a great time with you all!! I had a sweet, nice, unforgettable experience and talks with them!
Finally I arrived home at 20.00 WIB. So grateful for that!

So, all I have done within these three weeks at home are all exciting! I'm happy, by meeting my family and friends, with lots of laugh and love! Moreover, FOOD!! I'm so happy with Indonesian food!

I love my country, though since I touched down Jakarta, disasters came around. I was welcomed by flood and traffic on my arrival, but luckily, because I live in Tangerang so I should not go through the most horrible traffic jam on that Monday as many Jakartans spent like four hours and more to arrive home. Besides, on the next day, tsunami and erruption occured in Mentawai and Merapi. Disasters happened at the very same time, and I believe that Indonesia should pass these all and be tougher than today.

Anyway, just updating what I normally do in my everyday life, hmm I cannot say that I have nothing to do but everything runs well (let me tell you the other story on the next post later about what I did lately :p). I love my today's life on this 'holiday' (is it holiday or what? haha) with the activities I love so much.

I love love love being home!!

Kacamata gitta sees happiness through her family and friends! Love her home!

Masakan Mama

Kangen masakan Mama.

Di sini memang menyenangkan, bisa belajar macem-macem. Seneng bisa belajar masak juga. Masak yang gampang-gampang sih ga pake repot yang penting perut kenyang.

Tiba-tiba terlintas di kepala, enak banget kalo di rumah, tiap hari makanan udah disediain, tinggal nyendok, nyantap, terus piring kotor pun tinggal dicuciin si mbak. Hal yang kelihatannya sederhana ini memang sebenarnya bisa dikerjakan sendiri, ya untuk perut sendiri. Sampai saat ini saya masih cukup kenyang dan makan teratur. Patut disyukuri. :D

Cuma cukup berasa pas masa-masa ujian kayak gini, jadi flashback dan merenung sendiri, betapa berharganya hal yang kelihatannya sederhana itu.

Beberapa hari lalu saya mencoba masak buat stok makanan kurang lebih cukup untuk seminggu ke depan. Rasanya.. L-E-L-A-H. Tapi senang pas udah punya makanan. Jadi merenungi, mensyukuri dan menyadari kalau jadi ibu rumah tangga itu melelahkan sekali dan sungguh tidak mudah. Udah gitu, saya termasuk anak yang ga pernah bantuin Mamanya masak atau ngurus rumah pula. Jadi merasa bersalah. :p

Masakan saya sendiri sih kalo dibanding masakan Mama nilainya masih 5 dari 10. Itu juga satu hal yang bikin merenung lagi. Merasa kok kayaknya dengan gampangnya saya bilang "kok ini ga enak sih, Ma" Sementara.. Emang gampang masaknya.. Padahal yang dibilang kurang di masakan Mama masih lebih enak dari masakan sendiri. :)

Saya jadi kagum sama para ibu rumah tangga yang mendedikasikan dirinya untuk mengurus keluarga. Hal yang benar-benar mengagumkan!

Kacamata-gitta melihat hal luar biasa dari senyum sederhana seorang Mama.

Happy, after all.

It is going to be the seventh month I am living this new 'season' of my life though it is still a short time for learning and adjusting a new culture.

Next month, I will go back to my lovely home country for a couple months and continue this journey back here again afterwards.

Recently, I feel like this is my 'peak' days of studying and doing my final assignments. Horrible, but I would say that it will be fun though! :D

Just a bit update of my latest condition here, I am in the middle of a stressful mind. Those assignments and one exam are successfully overwhelming myself.

I know, I would be fine at the end. *Hopefully!* But struggling with those is something that makes me going crazy. Haha!

Anyway, these thoughts just came up on my mind and surely help me to be relax. :)

I am happy doing all these things.

I am happy enjoying this new way of life.

I am happy meeting new friends from other countries.

I am happy learning the new way of studying.

I am happy experiencing failures and trying to be tough.

I am happy suffering the crisis of my own self.

I am happy knowing different places, different people, different perception, different culture.

I am happy inhaling this new atmosphere around here.

I am happy, after all.

And I am looking forward to see what will happen next; here, there and everywhere.

Cheers!

Kacamata gitta recognise that learning something new is pleasing.

Wait, this is not the end of my world!

Yes, that is true, 'this is not the end of my world'. This world is soooo amazingly broad and too difficult to be seen in just a glance. But our world, or better to say, my world, is just the smallest part of the entire universe.

Obviously.

Here, in my new experience as an 'international student', I had been so disappointed when I felt that I cannot be (at least) the same or good or more than that, the best among everyone else. It is maybe just a wish for me. This situation had dropped me down, particularly my self-esteem, as I sensed that my circumstances are not supporting me in some ways. But it is possibly just my thoughts, and it could be wrong because I have not made myself well understood with this new way of living.

One of the example is, I cannot feel convenient with my new class environments, when people were talking and they seem so sophisticated by their words. Moreover, it was being worse, when I totally had no idea with the subjects. It is looked so simple and might be a stupid thing. But that was... sooo miserable for me.

After a long desperation time, I had a new inspiration.

Today, I suddenly feel better, I believe, by passing this sort of situation, I will get more strengths to survive this world. Forget all ambitions to be the top ten, three, or the very highest top number one, but be ready to be the lowest among others. Feel great to be looked odd from the majority. Still, try as hard as I can to achieve the best of me. It might be not acceptable to different people with different ways of thinking, but going straightforward and making an effort with plenty of failures are not immoral acts. They are worth trying.

I realised that failures, shame, fear, worries, are always staying around me until I kick them away. I felt so bad when I realised that I am a loser. But I learned, again and again, those are the great lesson, not to be hidden, or to be walked away from, but to be going on with life as I try not to interpret those such weaknesses but as pathways to move forward myself from my 'comfort zone'.

Secondly, I realised that by being weak, failed or lose, it makes me trying harder, accept and be grateful of every single thing I have and respect others better. And instantly I remember that I am no one before I have granted the great strengths from Above.

Okay, now, the lesson I learned the most is, this is only the second or the third chapter of my life and I still have a looooonnnnggg way to go. That was a step, leading me to be a better person to live this good life.

I thank God, for many failures I have, as of the things, I am able to open my own self, my sights, my thoughts, and try everything again better.

Kacamata gitta is going to change her insights, by having a new pair of spectacles and thought that today is the perfect time to start moving on with better ways of life.

Lights

Everything has just been going all right and I learned that accepting every single happiness or sadness throughout my life is so beautiful.

They are all such priceless experiences, growing me up.

One thing I want to say is, keep going on in everything you have to face with.

Life is naturally light, not as hard as I think, thus I try not to think too much when I go through the good or bad. Keep it simple, not complicated though it is probably looked too complex when I see it through my eyes. But after I hear everything with my heart, and I see a thing with my brain, those complicated things seem okay.

Remember that I have colours within my life. I cannot colour it with yellow, green and red only, because by combining those with blue or grey and sometimes black, it makes my scenery of life more wonderful.

Broaden the way I think, and not afraid to fail.

Run my life lightly, enjoy every season and keep doing the colour experiment.

Never put any highest expectation, but do dreaming.

Laughing and crying out loud as if it is needed.

Love everything, everyone, every time.

Be grateful.

Kacamata gitta is trying to have a light life.